Divorce can be a difficult time for everyone, including your children. Watching parents fight, having one parent leave the home and simply the major changes that come with divorce can be detrimental , especially to a child.
If you find that you are about to go through a divorce and you have children in the household, here are some ways to dissolve your marriage in a mindful way to help make the life change easier on your children.
Often, communication breakdown is a major factor in divorce. However, for the sake of your children, you and your partner must be able to communicate clearly with one another and without malice or hostility toward one another. You may just have to find a new way to communicate.
If your children witness that their parents are part of a united front-even though they aren’t still together – the cohesion in your parenting can go a long way in helping them adjust and reminding them that they are loved by both parents.
The added benefit is that you can prevent having your children play one parent against the other for their own personal gain. You know what we are talking about; when children get the answer they don’t want from one parent, so they take the question to the other. Or the situation when they say, “But dad said.”
Finding a mediator
If you’re finding it difficult to communicate with one another without fighting, it may be a good idea to call in a mediator that can help you both find ways to discipline yourselves and communicate with one goal in mind: the mental health and stability of your children.
Having a mediator in place can make the divorce process a lot less painful, since the focus will be on finding common ground and amicable agreements that work for both parties. Yes, your attorney can represent you in an individual capacity but still take a meditative approach to the divorce.
Some divorce lawyers can add a lot of pressure to the process by litigating at every turn, so make sure to ask about their preferential approach. On the other side, make sure you inform your attorney of your desire for cooperation. Your attorney is your advocate, so speak up about what you want.
Taking care of yourself
Children feed off their parents in every way. If you have been neglecting your own needs, desires and happiness, your children can see that and it can affect them.
Take the time to cater to you a little bit so that you can gain your own sense of peace. Take a spa day. Sign up for a bikram yoga class that will invigorate your mind and body while removing harmful toxins from your system. Dedicate fifteen minutes per day just to yourself to meditate, do some positive affirmations and remind yourself of your own strength and worthiness of happiness and love.
These tips can help keep your mind positive and those little sponges of yours will take notice, even subconsciously.
While divorce can be one of the most difficult processes to go through, it does not have to create destruction and dysfunction in your family unit. Remember that you are showing your children what a healthy relationship should look like, even when you are not in love with their other parent anymore.