You’ve seen those lists of significant life stressors, right? We all expect death and loss to be on that list, but what about the good things too? Moving into your first house, having a child, landing that big promotion? If these life events can stress an individual to extremes, what do they do to a marriage?
Sometimes, we overlook the impact that stress (good and bad) can have on a marriage and the potential for divorce. Let’s talk about some of those life stressors that can put strain on a marriage.
A big move
You’ve pinched pennies and cut coupons for years to save up for that nice, new house. Packing your things is reminiscent of a scene from a Disney film and signing the paperwork is a blur of flying pens and gleeful smiles. But, what happens when the moving truck backs off, the friends and family return to their respective homes, and the dust settles? Mortgage payments, utility bills, repairs, new schools for the kids and the general change of scenery can be more than a marriage can handle.
There are any number of jokes and stories about nightmare in-laws, but they have to come from somewhere, right? Some families cannot seem to accept a new person into their midst or every fully embrace the new son or daughter. It hurts to be left out of a family photo, discounted at holidays or even left home with the kids while your in-laws take your spouse out for a nice celebratory meal. Sometimes, you just do not get along. Over time, the strain on a marriage from being disregarded, forced to choose sides or plain frustration can push a couple toward divorce.
Changes in employment
Whether you lose your job or earn a promotion, changes in employment status can have a significant impact on a marriage. Perhaps your spouse was laid off. Now you are both worried about making ends meet, but your spouse may also be struggling with feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and anger. Or, maybe, your spouse came home with a fantastic new job offer that means more money and job stability but also pressure to perform at a higher level with a steeper learning curve. It may be difficult to understand or relate to all of the feelings attached to the new employment situation.
We’re having a baby! Those four words may be the most glorious words you can share with family and friends. But, they also lead to some of the most stressful parts of a marriage. From sleepless nights to diaper runs and altered bodies, new babies can push a relationship to its limits if both new parents are not patient, understanding and cooperative through the process. In other situations, having a baby is not a decision made together. It can lead to feelings of resentment, making one spouse feel as though they gave up their dreams to focus on raising a family or become a stay-at-home parent.
As technological advances go, social media brings a lot to the table. Families can communicate across miles, small businesses can market to people on the other side of the world and people can catch up with long lost friends. However, tweets and posts can also lead to marital discord if one or both spouses become caught up and lost in the world of social media. It can make spouses feel neglected, unimportant or cheated on – even if it is just an emotional connection with another person online.
It may be difficult to face, but it you find yourself in a situation where divorce is the best option, it is in your best interest to contact an attorney to help you through the process. The Law Offices of Ashley Philpot Mattos is ready and able to guide anyone through their legal options.