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Shared events can be challenging for divorce parents

The holiday season comes with some unique events. While many of these, such as school plays, are great memory makers, they can also be very challenging. When a child's parents aren't in a relationship any longer, these events can require some teamwork to make happen. We know that it isn't always easy to have to deal with your ex, much less spend time with them; however, your children will almost certainly appreciate having both parents there for these events.

It is best to set some ground rules before the event. These should apply to you and your ex, as well as any other friends and family members who are going to attend. Here are a few to consider:

  • Keep the focus on the children and the event. This isn't the time to try to pass snide looks around or to try to focus on anything other than the kids.
  • Don't bring up any contentious issues. Don't even mention them in passing. There is no need to add stress to what can be a pleasant celebration.
  • Never badmouth anyone. This is a good rule to follow at any gathering since badmouthing people can breed animosity. Remember, your ex is still your child's parent and deserves at least some respect for that.
  • Share the details early. Don't wait until the last minute to tell your ex about something that's going on. Even if you hope they can't make it, your child might be counting on having both parents there.

Sometimes, the complexity of a child custody situation might require the parents to have these terms, and various others, included in the parenting plan. If you are just embarking upon the creation of a parenting plan or realize that your current one isn't working, we can help you find solutions that can work toward the goal of getting one set.

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