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Visalia Family Law Blog

Coping with passive-aggressive behavior from your ex

Passive-aggressive behavior can make all situations more difficult. When this occurs in a co-parenting relationship, it can make even easy-to-resolve conflicts incredibly challenging. Both parents have to be willing to take an honest look at their own behaviors so that they can determine whether they are being passive-aggressive. Any hints of this behavior should be addressed immediately so that the focus can move back to the children.

There are several things that can signal this type of problem. One of the methods used is the silent treatment. This childish tactic is used to try to control the other person, but it has no place in a parenting relationship. You and your co-parent can't communicate at all if one spouen isn't willing to speak to the other. But the adults aren't the only ones who will suffer. The children will as well.

Prepare for the emotional journey of adopting a child

When you are ready to add a new member to your family, you might decide that you are going to adopt a child. This is a long and complex process, but it is very rewarding. There are several things that you need to think about when you are getting ready to embark upon the process. We are here to help you with the legal aspects. You also need to plan for the emotional aspect of the journey. Many people who are adopting are surprised at the emotional rollercoaster.

One thing that you should prepare yourself for is that you will likely hit some "speed bumps" along the way. There might be some delays in the adoption, but these don't mean that it isn't going to happen. It is imperative that when this happens that we work with you for a plan to address them. This can keep things moving forward, even if they are moving a bit slower.

You can control your reaction to divorce matters

A divorce is a tumultuous time in an adult's life. When you are the one going through it, you might crave peace. You can't control your ex's actions, but you can control your own actions and thoughts. You may be able to reduce the tension in the situation and help to make the split as amicable as possible.

The first thing that you can do is come to terms with the fact that you are going to have to part with some assets. This isn't going to be easy, especially if there is an emotional attachment to the items. As you go through the property division process, remember that you do need to protect your rights but that you don't have to fight tooth and nail for every asset you want. Being willing to compromise on this matter can go a long way toward giving you the peace you need.

Find ways to center co-parenting decisions around the kids

One of the most difficult tasks for parents is to come up with a child custody agreement when they go through a divorce. The emotions from the end of the marriage are still fresh and raw. This can make it difficult for parents to push those aside and make decisions for the children.

Some parents opt for the arrangement of co-parenting. They have to find ways to keep the children at the heart of every decision. This can prove to be a challenge, but it doesn't have to be impossible.

Child support orders are sometimes complex

Having a child custody order for your children can be rather complex. You have to pay close attention to the terms so that you know what is supposed to happen. It is imperative that both parents abide by the terms in the agreement so that there isn't any need for further legal action. The penalties for not following the order can be rather harsh.

A distinction between the custodial parent and non-custodial parent must usually be made. Typically, the custodial parent receives the support and the non-custodial parent pays the support.

International travel with children can be complex

Being able to take your children on vacations is a wonderful way to make memories with them. One consideration that you have when you aren't with the child's other parent is making sure that the vacations you take are in line with the custody order. In some cases, there are very strict requirements that you will have to follow to take trips.

Domestic trips might not pose a big problem for most people. There might be geographical restrictions in the custody order, but they might only require that you let your ex and the court know where you are going and what itinerary you have planned.

Decisions about pets during divorce can be challenging

Your pet is like another child and probably a best friend to your children. Having to figure out who is going to take the family pets when you divorce can be a challenge. Both adults might want to keep the pet, but the children might be distraught over the thought of losing a pet, even if it is only temporary. One thing to remember about this matter is that pets are considered property, so they are handled during the property division process.

There are a host of ways that pets can be handled in this situation. One is that the pet will be taken by one adult and that person will assume all financial responsibility of the animal. The other is that the pet will have a custody agreement much like the children.

Practical aspects of divorce to think about today

Many people who are going through a divorce focus on things like who will get what. They don't realize that there are a lot of other things that you will have to handle as you transition to single life. The practical life matters that come with a divorce can have a big impact on your life and might require some advance planning.

One of the primary considerations is where each spouse will live after the split. You probably don't want to continue to share a home with your ex. This means that at least one person will have to move out. If you own more than one property, this might make it easy. You can simply move into a different property and set things up there. If you don't, you may have to find a home to purchase or a place to rent.

Child custody and planning a vacation

With the school year quickly coming to an end, many parents have turned their attention to the late spring and summer months. If you're divorced and interested in planning a vacation with your children, there are several key steps you can take to prevent trouble.

There are two things to consider upfront:

  • Your parenting and custody agreement
  • The inclusion of the other parent

When an absent parent wants to come back into a kid's life

Child custody cases sometimes involve a parent who isn't really present in the child's life. When that parent decides that they want to come back into the kid's life, the court will likely allow that to happen unless there is a reason, such as abuse, to refuse. This puts pressure on the parent who has been there, as well as the child.

Both parents will have to work together to ensure that they are handling the situation in the manner that is in the child's best interests. The parent who is coming back might be excited and ready to push things forward quickly; however, this might not be what needs to happen.

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