Children count on their parents to meet their needs. This doesn't stop just because the parents decide to end their marriage. In fact, the needs of the children might increase when their parents are going through a divorce. This is because their entire world is sent into a tailspin and they might not know how to cope with that.
It is all too easy to focus on how difficult the divorce is on you; however, it is likely going to be even more difficult on your children. They are being placed in a scary situation where everything about their life is being changed. Since they don't have any say in what is going on, the situation can seem even worse for them.
We understand that you want to make sure that you have everything in order for your children now. One of the most important things that you can do is set up a child custody agreement with your ex that clearly outlines everything about what is going to happen with the children. Having this in place isn't a guarantee that everything will go as intended. Instead, it gives you a game plan that you can share with your children so they can have a better understanding of what is going on.
The child custody agreement usually comes to fruition through negotiations between you and your ex. If you are unable to work an arrangement out, you might need to let the court decide what is going to happen, but you will have to be prepared to live with the resulting order.